I worked with a gentleman for 10 years. During this entire time, we were just good friends. After my divorce I learned the feelings between us were more than friendship. He was still married, but unhappy and wanting to get out.

In the beginning, the space between us was good for the simple fact I needed space after a divorce. He promised we would be together after his son graduated. Then it was one excuse after another. I was understanding at first, but now it is becoming more than I can bear.

I love this man with all my heart. He's a good friend, good lover, wonderful with my children, and my soul mate. He loves me the same, but he can't seem to get his stuff together to move out.

I don't want to move on with my life without him, but on the other hand, I'm tired of getting hurt, being the good person, and taking it all in stride. What should I do to get him to open his eyes and see what he's missing?

Deedee


Deedee, it's an uneasy and precarious position you are in. Uneasy because you've experienced the feelings divorce causes, and you are enough involved in another woman's marriage to cause divorce. It is precarious because you can't know the truth of his feelings for you.

He may have been a "gentleman" for the 10 years you were friends, but after your divorce he became a man who cheats on his wife and makes empty promises to another woman. You want him to open his eyes and see what he's missing. Why not open yours and see what you are missing.

He's not missing anything. He has a wife at home and a mistress on the side. You don't want to move on without him, but he's given you no choice. That is your only choice and what you must do.

Wayne