My sister's husband and I had an argument a couple of years ago. I forget what the argument was about, but since I was angry at the time, I wrote my sister a letter and told her I had unresolved issues with her husband.

Before they married, her husband would grab my bottom when I walked by. I felt this was disgusting and not respectful of me since I had my own fiance at the time. I told him off a few times, but still he did it.

So I told my sister, though this happened 15 years ago, it bothers me. My sister confronted her husband and he denied it. Later I was invited to my sister's house for dinner, and I tried to make peace. I put my arm around her husband and said, "Let's let bygones be bygones."

In front of the whole company, he said, "Get your hands off of me!" I cried to my sister and said I tried. She said, "I'm sorry, he does not trust you." But it is god's honest truth he grabbed my behind for the six months that they dated. He and I have not spoken since. Please give me your opinion.

Maria Elena


Maria Elena, for many offenses a statute of limitations limits the period of time during which action can be taken on a certain issue. The time limit passed for your brother-in-law's offense, but you were angry. Unable to think of another argument, you dredged up this event.

That was a mistake. The second mistake was putting an arm around this man. When a woman has a problem with unwelcome intimacy, she should never open that door again. This time, however, it opened the door for your brother-in-law to humiliate you.

At future gatherings, realize you are there for your sister and the part of the family you feel close to, your brother-in-law there for his wife and the ones he is close to. Even armies at war can call a truce, but if you can't, then don't go to these events. And tell your sister it is your failing.

Tamara