Lillian still remembers moving to a Minneapolis suburb five years ago. Neighbors came bearing all kinds of home-baked pastry, cakes, and donuts.

The party stopped when someone asked, "What does your husband do?"

"There's just me," said Lillian. "My son lives in Alabama."

The welcoming neighbors rose, said hasty good-byes and walked out. She had never seen people move so fast.

Lillian was hurt until she realized, "It was up to me to defuse the situation. To them, I was a threat -- a sophisticated career woman from New York."

Being single -- never-married, divorced or widowed -- poses special challenges during relocation.

· Many locales are geared for the married person with two kids and a station wagon. Don't be surprised if stores close at five. And in some towns, you may be the only unattached person for miles.

· Some companies give relocated parents time to settle the children, but single people must begin work right away. "Who's supposed to unpack and wait for the utility hookups? Perhaps I should train the dog to let them in."

· Sometimes you need help. If you get sick, "You want someone there to hold your hand and tell you you're gonna be better." And if your car battery dies, who do you call for help?

· If you travel on business, your social life may be gone when you get back.

Some things you can do:

1. Remind yourself why you're moving. If you are making an important career move, focus on work and seek weekend escapes.

2. Reframe aloneness as solitude. Plan self-nurturing activities to fill your inner emptiness.

3. Join groups that offer you a chance to have fun and express your creativity. Avoid "singles" groups where your time is wasted unless you meet someone.

4. Get a dog or cat, but only if you are ready for a ten-to-twenty-year commitment. Walking a dog will help you make friends and a cat will purr on your bed all night. But animals need care when you travel and they'll be around long after you've begun to feel at home.

5. As time goes on, you will (almost always) gain a life. Simply being "familiar" will help people like you.

6. If you have given the place a fair chance, and you are still miserable, your location may be a bad fit. Get counseling if you are starting to sabotage your work. Plan to move, no matter what the cost.

7. Review your career strategy. Are the best jobs in your career located in small towns, while you are an urban person? Will you be happy only in certain locations? Talk to a career counselor or coach about starting a business that allows you to live where you feel comfortable.