The 2001 Academy Awards brought many television viewers to tears, some because Halle Berry was so emotional and some because Jennifer Lopez was fully dressed.

But what touched me the most was the tribute to Sidney Poitier, an actor I've admired for years. The 75-year-old received an honorary Oscar, a standing ovation, and, even more impressive, a kiss from Julia Roberts. (Only 974 men can say that.)

Poitier is not just a great actor, he's also full of class, the polar opposite of many youngsters, who have no qualms about skipping class.

Poitier, I believe, is also a gentleman, a true gentleman. I have no real proof of this, just a hunch. Somehow I can't imagine Poitier remaining seated on a bus while a female passenger is standing. I can't even imagine him riding a bus.

Driver: "Sir, please take a seat at the back of the bus."

Poitier: "All the way back? No, never."

Driver: "Do you find that offensive?"

Poitier: "Yes, of course, I do. The chairman of Enron is sitting back there."

Poitier is a symbol of chivalry, as rare in today's world as a blind cabbie. Most males in my generation are not "gentlemen." They are just "guys." The only time they pretend to be gentlemen is when the sign on the restroom says "gentlemen." But that doesn't mean they'll bother to wash their hands. (Only one out of three men wash their hands -- whereas all three are eager to shake your hand.)

I have to admit that I'm not always a gentleman myself. I blame this on society, because society has taught me that almost any personal shortcoming can be blamed on it. Society is always messing up my life.

It has shown me, for example, that women are just as capable as men in performing many tasks. Women have served successfully as presidents of countries, governors, and Supreme Court justices. At this rate, it won't be long before they're allowed to referee football games. (One of the last bastions of male superiority.)

Women have competed in professional soccer, basketball, even boxing. They've been mechanics, firefighters, and, believe it or not, secretaries (Secretary of State, for example). Given these accomplishments, I'm a little confused why some women expect me to open doors for them. Wouldn't it make more sense for them to open doors for ME?

Don't get me wrong. A part of me really wants to open doors for women or give up my seat for them. Another part of me, often my butt, doesn't. It tells me that women don't want to be treated like dainty creatures, that I'd be showing them a lot more respect if I don't move a muscle. And trust me, I'm a real fanatic about showing respect.

Truth is, some women want men to be chivalrous, others don't. But none of them ever bothers holding up a sign. I'm terrible at reading minds.

That's why it has taken me almost two years to figure out that I'm expected to open doors for my wife. She doesn't think I'm courteous enough. Thankfully, other people don't share her view. Just the other day, a waiter took my wife's order, then turned to me, asking, "And what would the gentleman like?"

Gentleman. I like the sound of that.