When will I learn?

For what does my heart yearn?

How can I tell, if I’m destructing?

Perhaps could it be new constructing?

Fighting hard to obtain my goals.

At the same time plummeting deeper in a hole.

Starting to become a circulatory motion

Yet never catching on to the notion.

I am becoming a paradox within myself.

Slowly decomposing on the back shelf.

When will I see in myself what “they do?”

Maybe the day my heart becomes true?

How do I break down this wall?

Will I first have to lose it all?

And what will become, of my beloved Song?

All that I’ve done to him is wrong.

Currently having a million doubts.

Will he be there to stick it out?

I am not capable of expressing vulnerability.

This may be my ultimate disability.

I know I am not being just.

To the one I ultimately trust.

I am trying to struggle against what I feel.

So maybe one day I can begin to heal.

One can only anticipate this takes place.

Otherwise, it will be thrown in my face.

Then another cycle will be complete.

And then again will repeat.