I woke up as I had so many mornings before with a smile on my face. I could feel the crisp sheets against my body. The warmth of my bed surrounding me. I snuggled in deeper while opening my eyes. I was filled with joy. It was incredible. I was so excited, I couldn't wait! Yes! I thought with all my heart and soul. I sat up in my bed. Sunlight streaming through the windows. Looking around my room. I could not wait. I began to think. What was I so excited about? I searched my mind.. I had forgotten. It was almost at the tip of my brain. But just a bit to fuzzy for me to reach. What was it? What was I so excited about? Why was I so happy? I sat and thought longer and decided that it must have been something from a dream. But I could not remember what it was. I was so let down. How could I forget? I was just so happy.

It was a safe warm place.. I was floating down a river on a monopoly board. Sounds odd to say that, but it was not odd at the time. As I looked around I saw the brown leafy trees and the sun shining down between the branches. We were floating together and not speaking. But that was okay. There was no need to speak. We where so happy. Filled with joy. Floating down the river on our monopoly board together. I can almost see his face. He was incredibly handsome from the inside out. His warm smile. Those white teeth. His brown hair almost a bowl haircut. Something that you might not think to be flattering on someone. But on him it was jut as warm and disarming as you could imagine. He was soft not fat or anything.. his skin was just soft to the touch. His lips full. Touching him and being wrapped in his arms was amazing; it was like touching his soul. He knew me completely and loved me deeply. And we floated together down the river around the bend.. smiling and enjoying the warmth of each other's company and the day.

We played like children over the years, growing together. Learning about one another and loving one another. He was my best friend. And over time he grew into my lover. He grew into a man and I a woman.

The longer I knew him, the more I loved him. The more he loved me. Each day I did not think I could love him anymore. Each day it grew deeper. I couldn't wait to see him. Each night I went to bed excited.. knowing he would soon be in my arms again. That I would feel the touch of his hand, the heat of his body next to mine. That I would be able to share all my pain and fear and joy with him. And That he would share his with me. I couldn't wait to feel that closeness. I couldn't wait to mingle our souls. No matter how long I knew him. No matter how many adventures we had together. I never was afraid I would be turned away or hurt. I trusted him completely and he I. Time only brought good things for our love and us and we talked for hours and didn't need to talk at all.

Years later in San Francisco we where so happy. The depth of our love had only grown over time. He was my lover and my best friend. His very presence filled me with happiness. We where walking down the road and come upon a diner. A friend of ours owned it. We went in and it was a close friend's birthday. The diner was a place we went too often. Our friends came there also. We where happy and in love as we walked in to the diner. We had a long life together and long life in front of us. The joy that filled us lit he room. It was as bright as it was the day we floated down the river. And standing next to him I felt his soul touch mine. We decided to help with the birthday surprise party by going to pick up a cake and bring it back. We left the diner. With love in our hearts. Love for each other and love for our friends. The diner was such a warm place. We walked out the door and down the hill. I could see the water from where we stood. The water was clear blue. As clear as the day. The sun shone brightly and it was not to hot or to cold. I could feel a slight breeze on my skin. I could see for miles. He reached down and held my hand. He laughed. His laughter filled the air. We walked enjoying the day. The boats were sailing in the marina at he bottom of the steep slope we walked down. We ran across the street like children. Then earth started to tremble. Everything shook.. the land moved. Everything was confusing and I couldn't see. I was losing something. I was lost. It was crazy. I looked everywhere for him but I couldn't see him. I turned and turned my heart beating and breaking at the same moment. Where was he? Where? I couldn't see him. I ran down the road. Running and running. Searching and searching. Looking everywhere. Where was he? I had lost him. I couldn't find him. My heart broke. I felt the pain through out my body. I had lost him. Forever. He was gone.

I never saw him again.. I never found him. I looked for many years but he had disappeared. Everyone had. The diner. The friends and him. All gone. In a blink of the eye. Just gone. I don't know where they where. I have no memories of what happened to them. I never have been able to find the diner or the people that had filled me with so much joy. I have no memories of what happened to me. It just ended there. Well that life did anyway. I think of them often, although I am not able to see their faces. I wish I could see his.. but it is just a haze to me. That hair.. brown and moving in the wind. His soft lips, curled up in a smile. His strong hands.. touching my face and brushing the hair out of my eyes. His eyes which I can not remember.. they looked into me and touched me. His laugher rippling through the air. The depth of his heart.

One day we will find one another again. Somehow we will be able to seek each other out. I hope that we will know. I hope that we can see. But I doubt that we can remember. But one day.. sitting next to each other smiling because are hearts are full. Feeling that closeness.. we will look into each others eyes and touch each other's soul. The warmth will envelop us and we will both remember floating down the river on that monopoly board. And we will know the other was there too.


the-spot(c) 1999
No part or whole of this story may be copied or published without the expressed permission of the author.
Contact me at rebecca@the-spot.com