It started out as a young friendship, he was 13 and she was nine. Yet, for him, it had been true love from the day they met. He had fallen in love at first sight.

He came over her house many times to supposibly play with her brothers, but in reality, he came to see her. He followed her every move. He loved to see her smile. Her smile was enough to send him home floating on a cloud. As time passed their friendship grew stronger. There were more conversations on the phone and more visits. They played together and while she was not looking he gazed at her declaring her the most beautiful thing in the world. He was blind to all her flaws, that faint scar on the right side of her lip and to the fact that she was fairly over weight. To him she was magic. His magic. All he needed to make him happy forever.

Things changed somewhat when she became a teenager. Not only did they not spend as much time together, but she also experienced love for the first time. His heart broke, while sitting there for hours and hours looking in her eyes and hearing her talk about how much she cared for her first love Anthony. They barely got to spend time with each other yet the time that they did have, her mind was focused on Anthony. She grew more and more in love with Anthony doing things that were never in her nature, things that Jeff never thought she, as close to an angel as she was could ever do.

The walls began closing in on Jeff, he loved her and she had no idea. All that was on her mind was Anthony. Every night before going to bed, Jeff laid on his bed and wondered how things would be if he told Susan how he really felt about her. He wondered if things would have been different if he would have told her his feelings before this no good Anthony came into her life. I mean what did she see in him. He was a low life that hurt Susan and never gave her the time of day. Jeff wondered if the idiot even knew the treasure that he held in his hand. Anthony held her heart in which he gripped so hard, he destroyed it.

After six years of pain and suffering, Jeff could no longer go on wondering whether he should tell her or not. He decided that he would tell her and that if things could not develop into more than friendship, he would not let their friendship die. It killed him not to be able to make her his but it would be worse for her to be non existent in his life. He knew then that he could not live without her; that he had to take that chance or he would live his life always wondering what could have been but never was.

So, one day, Jeff picked up a pen and paper and wrote down all of his emotions without thinking twice about being too outspoken or too shallow. When he finished he put the pieces of paper in an envelope, put a stamp on it and mailed it along with his heart. For days Jeff could not find the nerves to call Susan. He was too afraid to find out her reaction. He woke up early every morning to check the mail, but nothing ever came.

Two weeks later Jeff phone rang and he answered. It was Susan. On the sound of her hello, Jeff began to tremble and his palms got sweaty. Susan spoke to him as if nothing had changed. She got mad at him playfully for taking so long to call her. He apologized and they talked for hours. Her voice, her ways still being the same as before, but his stomach was in knots and his heart was on the edge.

Days passed and they called each other and got together like old times. She went on as if it was never brought to her attention that she was loved more than anyone in this world was. He, on the other hand, could no longer look at her in the eyes without revealing those feelings of love that he still felt after that love was ignored.

One day, during Jeff's walk home after speding the whole day with Susan, he wondered why Susan ignored his feelings. Was it because she did not feel the same? Or was it that she did but was too afraid to say it? He knew Susan had always been scared of life. She was always afraid to break those walls that her family, friends and other's in which were important to her built. They built that wall in front of her never asking for permission, just putting a limit to Susan's dreams, thoughts and LOVE.

This made Jeff angry. He noticed how much Susan loved her family and that of course was understandable. What Jeff did not understand is the fact that Susan always supported everything each person in her family wanted to do. Plus, Jeff knew that everyone else except for Susan had the guts to stand up to any family member if anyone objected. But, not Susan. Someone objected and she sat down.

Jeff could not take it anymore. One whole year had passed since he had revealed his feelings to Susan and she still had not given him any response, not even a reaction. One night while they talked on the phone, Jeff brought up the letter in which contained all his feelings. Right after bringing it up, Susan's voice started getting a little shaky. She knew that Jeff was tired of the run-a-round. He waited and waited and now he really wanted to know where he stood. If there were any loose strings of hope in which he could hold onto.

Susan laughed nervously after Jeff asked her if she understood the letter. Her answer was of sure nervousness yet it still hurt Jeff. "Yes I understood it." Susan answered, " but I thought you were just joking around."
Joking around, Jeff thought. This made him a little angry. He practically drew his heart on the letter and with all the fear in the world upon him, he sent the letter and she did not even take him seriously. Why, was the only question that Jeff could ask Susan. Susan's only answer was, "I don't know."

When Jeff finally asked Susan what she felt it seemed as though Susan was giving him the round-around once again. She began telling him that she just liked him as a friend. Yet, she would say that it was hard because of her family. This confused Jeff. He knew there was two possible answers. One, she only wants to stay friends or two she cares about him but she is too afraid of what her family might say. Jeff hoped that the answer was number two because he himself knew it would be a trial facing Susan's family but he also knew that if the love was strong enough it was possible and that after all it would be all worth it when he holds the woman of his dreams in his arms.

Nonetheless, Jeff received no answer to his questions. Susan would say one thing then cover it with something else. Finally, at three in the morning both of them were too tired to continue not to mention they both had a headaches. One from trying to show just how much he cared and the other from trying to explain her feelings without passing that line which exited, that same linel that her loved ones had built.

Things changed after this conversation. , Jeff finally found the courage to let Susan know just how he felt. He took advantage of every conversation he had with Susan to explain just how much he loved her and to describe the feelings he had been holding inside of him for years and years. Susan smiled as she held the phone closer to her ear. She loved to be told that she was loved yet since Jeff was the only one that had told her this, she wondered if she loved the words or the person who said them. But, she could not lie to herself either. When Jeff told her how much he loved her, she would close her eyes and try to substitute Jeff's voice with Anthony's. She imagined Anthony holding her tight and reaping the words I love you a thousand times. Susan had always been a dreamer, and Jeff was making those dreams seem more real every time.

The feelings that Susan felt when she heard certain lovely words said by Jeff began to feel stronger and stronger. This scared Susan and she began feeling confused. She questioned herself more and more not knowing if she did love Jeff but was too scared to face her family. Truth was as time passed by; Susan's family began disliking Jeff more and more everyday. This was because of the fact that though Jeff was a well-mannered man, he did not attend school or did not have a job. Susan's brothers and sister's would refer to Jeff as a loser, a low life and a nobody. Hearing these words really hurt Susan but she did not show it to her family because she was afraid that they would read more than friendship into it.

One night while concluding one of their most latest conversations, Jeff asked Susan once again what she felt. Susan once again mentioned that she felt more confortable as friends but again she added another layer of doubt on top and added the words, "I don't know." Jeff left it at that and wished Susan a good night. Susan did the same and as she removed the phone off her ear she heard Jeff speak again, "Hey.."
"Yes" Susan answered.


Jeff stood quiet for a while, then softly spoke once again,
"I love you….."
Susan did not know how to respond to this. She was stunned and felt a wonderful yet painful feeling in her stomach. She knew she could not just hang up and ignore those words that Jeff had just said to her. She thought about what to say but nothing would come out of her mouth. Finally, Susan spoke, "Thank You."

"Okay." Jeff sadly answered back. Thank you was not the answer he was looking for. He thought that if Susan really cared, those three words would bring those feelings right out. It did not happen this way. When Jeff finally hung up the phone, he cried.

Susan could not sleep at all that night. Those three words Jeff had said to her kept playing over and over in her mind. She felt so bad about what she said but she could not help it. Nothing would come out; the fear was too strong. And now she wondered whether she said it because she really did not like him or because of what her family might say if she accepted his love. The fear was still too strong and and those three words did not stand a chance.

After that night, Jeff knew he had tried all he could. He had promised Susan the world and she refused the offer. He said that he would defend her from all but he could not compare to her family or to Anthony even though he had found himself a girlfriend already and was going to be a daddy. She could not break down that wall. This all made Jeff wonder if she ever really wanted that wall to be destroyed. Maybe she felt most comfortable behind the wall. Jeff did not understand and now, he really doubted that she loved him too.

As it is said, time heals all things and as time passed Jeff began to mend. He had to suffer a lot more when he first decided to let go, but it got better and better as more time passed. Jeff and Susan stopped spending time with each other. They would hardly talk on the phone now. He cried himself to sleep and stopped looking forward to every morning. But, as days passed he understood better fate and the tears began drying up.

Susan kept telling herself that Jeff being away was for the best. But, she could not quite understand the ocean of tear she cried at night. She wondered if it was the emptiness of friendship, which kept her sad or was it something else which she lacked; something more deeply scary and wonderful at the same time. There was just so much that she wanted to say to Jeff. But, Jeff kept himself away as much as possible. Still, Susan could not organize her emotions, she could not figure out her feelings and where her emotions for Jeff stood, that is until she found out the news on Jeff.

Two years after staying away from each other Jeff was finally able to let go. He found himself a good job and there, he met a wonderful young woman named Julie. They went out for one year before Julie was able to push all the love Jeff felt for Susan and replace it with her own. They got along perfectly, they went every where together and when they got mad at each other the silence would not last longer than a minute before they were already kissing and making up. After one year of dating, Jeff took Julie out to a romantic dinner on the beach where he proposed to her.

Susan could not sleep that night when she found out about Jeff's engagement. She could not believe that all that love that Jeff's had felt for her could be gone. It was her love, her heart, her Jeff. Susan cried more tears than ever. Her heart felt as it she was going to burst; as if she was going to die. She felt angry towards Jeff and that love that he said would last forever yet, she also understood him. After all those years she never answered his love, there was bound to be someone else out there that would not be dumb enough to miss out on that same opportunity.

The day finally came; church, limos, bride's maids, flower girls bride and groom were all waiting nervously for the time to come. Susan was of course invited to the wedding since after all, she was Jeff's best friend. Jeff really thought Susan was happy for him when in reality she was falling apart.

On the drive to the church, Susan could not stop all the wonderful memories that her and Jeff had, had from flashing through her mind. All the times they had same thought at exactly the same time, the times they would create their own little funny stories to make each other laugh when either of them was sad and who could forget all those nights they talked and talked until sun rise.

Thinking of all these things sparked up a feeling inside of Susan. It felt as if someone lifted a thousand pounds off her shoulder and gave her strength. The love she felt for Jeff seemed to be raising, and the confusion started to wane. She was now strong enough to break that wall in which had kept her quietly suffering for so long. That strength was strong enough to knock that wall down in one shot. She now was clear on her feelings; she now knew exactly what she felt. She did love Jeff. She did want to spend the rest of her life with him.

Susan began driving faster and she made it to the church in less than half the time it would usually take. She was lucky to find Jeff by himself fixing his tie. Susan sneaked behind him and tapped him on the shoulder. Jeff turned around and gave Susan a big hug. "You're here. It is almost time," Jeff said. "Yes, I know." Susan answered sadly. Though Jeff did not love Susan as more than a friend now, he still knew her better than anyone. "What's wrong Su?" Jeff asked. "I need to talk to you Jeff." They both decided to go into one of the rooms inside the church in order to have more privacy.

Right as Jeff closed the door, Susan ran up to him and started crying. Jeff held her in his arms, with a confused look on his face for he did not have one clue of what was happening with Susan. After Jeff asked what was wrong again, Susan wasted no time explaining. "You were right Jeff." Susan said still weeping.
"Right about what?" Jeff questioned.
"About my feelings, about that wall, about that fear. I do care about you Jeff, as more than a friend does, I always have, and I was just so scared. But now, now I realize it. I want to spend the rest of my life with only you. You're the man that could make me happy. I was dying inside Jeff but now I am not because I am no longer afraid of what I feel."

Jeff still looked a little confused. He sat down on a chair that stood beside him, "Susan, those feelings, those feelings were the same feelings I felt for you a long time ago. Now, things have changed. Ever since that last time I shared my feelings with you, you left me in the dark Susan, you told me you did not care. It took lots of time and a lot of healing but now, now my feelings are different. When I look at you now, I see little Suzy, my best friend, my buddy, my pal, not the girl I once loved…... I love Julie now."

Susan could not believe that Jeff did not love her anymore. He loved her too much to ever forget her, to ever stop loving her. But her fear increased as she looked into his eyes. It was not there anymore. That same shine his eyes used to have just by seeing her, or that smile he had as if he was in heaven just by being near her. It was gone. It was not tucked away, or hiding anywhere, it no longer existed, time had made it vanish.

Susan did not know how to except Jeff's answer, she held onto Jeff as a child hangs onto their parents when they feel danger coming near. She shook her head wanting her Jeff to change his mind but though tears came out of Jeff's eyes, she knew they were only tears of sadness and pity and not tears of regret and pain of wanting to go back..

As they stood in this position for a long time, someone knocked at the door and announced that the ceremony was about to begin. "Suzy, please let's wipe our tears and go out there."
" I can't Jeff, I just can't." Susan answered.
Jeff nodded his head understanding Susan's feelings and gave and gave her a kiss on her forehead. Then, while walking towards the door Jeff turned around and said, "Susan, I am so sorry. But, you are going to be okay. For some reason God kept us apart. You will always be special to me. I know that there is someone out there that is perfect for you. Let him come to you. And when he does, don't let anyone stop you."

Jeff opened and began to walk out.

Susan could not see him go, she was not ready to give up. She felt if he left that room, if he got married, she would never be happy, she would never find the perfect one, because to her, Jeff was her perfect one…….

"Jeff!" Susan cried out before he was completely out of sight.
Jeff turned around and looked straight at Susan.
Susan softly continued as a tear fell from her cheek to the floor,
"I love you."
Jeff, looked at Susan in her eyes for a couple of seconds, then looked away,
"Thank you." Jeff answered, then close the door behind him.

It was too late, there was no turning back that strand of hope no longer existed. She had nothing to hold on to. She was too late. She took too long, and once again he had fell in love.