It's amazing how we need a license to drive a car. But parents aren't required to have a license to parent. If my parents were licensed, who's to say what I may be today. As I look back into my life. I only seem to focus on the beginning. The core of my being. I wonder if that license may have set forth a more productive human being. My thirst for love and affection has come from somewhere. Gradually I take the journey back into my life. Silently I pray these steps backward do not kill me. Its ironic how that first slap on the ass, will be a series of slaps that follow me through life. The nuturing and security that I did not feel at home, sent me out into the world. The quest for self destruction of my soul. And my zest for doing all the wrong things was as it seems my only salvation to find myself. The tortured being I believed I was, took solace in any manufactured high I could find. Thus blocking out all the suffering and pain I felt within. Not realizing that I was only torturing myself. This quest for love has been a suicide, I've been dodging all my life. The thirst for this knowledge will span through the generations of the sins of the motber. I alone have decided that I need a license to parent.