My arms hurt right now.
My heart always hurts.
I'm at a loss for words.
Yet I still feel like writing.
I'm so confused.

I can't decide whether I want to live or die.
Sometimes the need to die is just so great.
It weighs me down,
and is constantly on my mind.

The love has faded from my life
But the person I love still lingers.
Trying to cling to a memory.
So much has changed.
But that person doesn't see how much THEY have changed.
My love for them never ended.
But theirs did.

So I'm sitting here,
Thinking about my life,
My love,
And my hate.
And it all is so overwhelming.


It's not like I've got all that many people to help me.
Who's going to stop me from dying?
I don't think anyone would care to.

" I know that I will die,of course I do even if you had not doomed me by proclimation. If I shall die before my time, I count that a profit. How can such as I,that live among such troubles,not find a profit in death? So for such as me to face such a fate as this is a pain that does not count"